Kiss My Name

Cryangles Remix

2011-08-03T14:20:00.001-07:00

My friend Blair Woodward of Cryangles remixed the fadedfox track mirror.
If you wish to hear it it can be found here -
http://fadedfox.bandcamp.com/track/mirror-cryangles-remix

new fadedfox song

2011-07-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

here's a little something that I did recently -

http://fadedfox.bandcamp.com/track/mirror

Smoking

2011-07-15T18:30:00.001-07:00

I've never wanted to smoke before. Now I do.

http://stereogum.com/759121/tom-vek-aroused-video/mp3s/

Forever, Forever

2011-07-15T12:43:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone,

It's been a real real long time. I've been busy and outside and not computering as much as usual.
Here's a little musical something that I've been working on. I've got 2 very short songs uploaded and I'm currently working on a third.
fadedfox.bandcamp.com

Lisztomania (Classixx Remix)

2011-04-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

I'm still trying to upload Coachella pictures and it's not working very well. So.... here's a little something in the meantime -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7U16stsEmc

I usually hate remixes but this one is amazing and that video is mesmerizing.

Coachella

2011-04-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

Here's the skinny:

Shows that I attended -

Friday

New Pants (a wonderful surprise)
Cold Cave
The Drums (YES!)
YACHT
Sleigh Bells
Cut Copy
Crystal Castles
Nosaj Thing (for a bit)

Saturday

Yelle
Bright Eyes
Shpongle (weirdest thing I've ever witnessed)
The Swell Season
Animal Collective
Arcade Fire (so so so so so so so amazing)

Sunday

Health
The National
Chromeo
The Strokes
Kanye West

Shows that I regret having missed -

Ratatat (but I'll see them in June)
PJ Harvey
Gayngs
The Morning Benders
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
Tame Impala
Beardyman
Warpaint
Rye Rye
The Tallest Man on Earth
Foals
The Radio Dept
Broken Social Scene
Twin Shadow
Duran Duran

It was impossible to see everything that I wanted to due to schedule conflicts, the need to eat, 100 degree temperatures, fatigue, the desire to stay with my friends, etc.
I'm very very very happy with what I was able to see. Coachella is a beautiful event and I hope to go again and again.

Maybe I'll put up some photos later. My computer keeps crashing right now.

KaossMan

2011-04-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

Kaoss

2011-03-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

Here's a look at my new stuff. Looks pretty good, right?

Will Do

2011-03-27T22:47:00.001-07:00

This is songwriting at its finest.

Let it Burn

2011-03-24T09:51:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I feel like losing everything would be a relief.

I'll try to explain.

I didn't have to work at an unearthly hour this morning so I was able to sleep in a bit and wake up slow. I think that I had a dream that my entire life changed. Everything that I knew was gone and I had to begin again - maybe I was transported to a new place, maybe I was thrown into a different time, maybe there was some kind of disaster - I'm not sure what happened. I just remember feeling utterly alone.

When I was fully conscious I really really wanted to listen to this song.

People throwing dinars at the belly-dancers
In a sad circus by a trench of burning oil
People throw belongings; a lifetime's earnings
Amongst the scattered rubbish and suitcases on the sidewalk

Date palms and orange and tangerine trees
With eyes that're crying for everything
(Let it burn! Let it burn, burn, burn...)

So I talked to an old man by the generator
He was standing on the gravel by the fetid river
He turned to me and answered, "Baby, see."
Said, "War is here in our beloved city."

Some dove in the river and tried to swim away
Through tons of sewage; they had written on their foreheads
Date palms and orange and tangerine trees
With eyes that're crying for everything

Let it burn, let it burn!
Let it burn, let it burn!
Let it burn, let it burn!
Let it burn, let it burn!

Obviously, it would be hyper-dramatic to compare our lives with those of the people in this song, but I can't help but feel the desire to take the people I love by the hand and jump into that sewage-filled river. On the far bank we would look back at the materialism, the over complication, the skewed social hierarchy, the broken politics, the cookie cutter lifestyles that we had left behind and we would chant, "Let it burn! Let it burn, burn, burn...".

We would then taste something different.

Feeling Memory

2011-03-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

Today I finally removed my winter snowflakes from my windows. It was a bittersweet moment for me. The removal of winter decorations frees up my large windows for their true destinies; letting vast quantities of light into my life, displaying the springtime explosion of white and pink beauty that is my crab apple tree, allowing the sounds of the outdoor world into my indoor life; birds, bugs, people walking by, the occasional car, lawnmowers, etc. I love these things so much, and yet... I felt slightly sad as I took down my snowflakes and crumpled them into twisting and crisscrossing balls of paper mess. Some of their accidental patterns would not and could not ever be recreated.

Next year will mark the birth of new snowflake decorations. They will be just as magnificent as the dead generation, full of happy accidents and wonderful flukes. I just felt like I should take some time to say farewell to all the paper snowflakes in the world that have died as spring puts its foot in the door. I have already all but forgotten the complexities of your designs but the seasonal magic that you have planted in my heart has become part of a treasured and permanent feeling memory.

Beautiful.

2011-03-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

I wish that I could do beautiful things in beautiful places for the rest of forever.

The best part is the cute high-five at the end.

Blank Canvas

2011-02-11T15:59:00.000-08:00

Hello world! It seems like it's been a million years.

I had a conversation with a friend about the mood/feeling/emotion that artists can create or give off through their work. He seemed to think that if a person invested enough effort into it then they could experience a feeling that was totally outside of themselves; that they could feel something that was unrelated to their personality and memory. At least that's what I think that he was saying.

At the time I was skeptical. I didn't feel like a person was capable of experiencing anything without having their perception of that experience be colored by their spirit and memories. I told him so.

I think that I have changed my mind. I was listening to some beautiful music today. It was music that I have loved for a long time now, but I was listening to it in a way that I never had before. I felt a way that I never before felt. It was like a new facet was being chipped into the rough gem that is my life. I couldn't connect this new feeling with anything I had ever before experienced. It couldn't be categorized using my current lexicon. This feeling had no home inside my being but I loved it so much that I was forced to make one for it.

I have no idea if these songs will do anything for anyone else. You are welcome to try it. Listen in this order and at a high volume. Listen to them without a goal and with nothing on your mind.

GO! TEAM

2011-02-03T12:06:00.000-08:00

New music and videos and CD - Rolling Blackouts. YES!
The Go! Team makes me feel so good. If I ever have a hard issue to tackle a little sip of Go! Team goodness is always helpful.

Google Earth

2011-02-02T18:53:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else totally blown away by Google Earth? I can literally spend hours using it without really knowing what I'm looking at. Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm taking on a long trip/adventure in India or Russia or something and then I follow a path of intrigue and exploration. I try to imagine the places, people, sights, sounds, smells, foods, traditions, colors, life and beauty of wherever I'm Google Earthing. It's a poor substitute for actually going to these destinations but it will do the trick until fortune smiles more kindly upon my wallet.

Do people really still use their imaginations? I find that I need to allot myself time to imagine. There was a time in my life when I was burning through the books I was reading at such a lightning fast pace that I had no time to imagine. One day, I finished a book and it hit me that I had no mental image of the main character nor could I pronounce her name vocally. I had finished a beautiful and complex story but, because I read it like it was an article in a newspaper, I had not gleaned anything from it. I had completely missed the emotional complexity and involvement. I had entirely missed the experience that the world of this book was trying to provide me. When I read I want color. I want beauty and feeling. I want friends and family. I want life and I want to learn. These things cannot be had without imagination. The words on the page need to become something else in my mind. They need to come together and form a life of their own. They need to spur the creation of my own words, thoughts, and explanations.

I reread that book. I'm glad that I was able to realize what I was missing. I hope to never make the same mistake with any other book again. Imagination can touch and improve more than our books and stories. If people would stop stifling their imaginations I think that many of societies ills would be bettered or even cured.

For Pete's sake - take some time to imagine.

P.S. I really love this video. Rakafeed is insanely beautiful and I love the way the video weaves together three separate events or memories to create a tapestry of emotion.

I found myself wondering if the dark night was before or after the other events. I think it was after. He was alone in the night. I think that he was retracing his memory path and experiencing flashbacks of his memories with his girl. She may have left him or died or something because in the night scenes he seems unstable and upset (almost frantic). The flowers are for her grave?

Final Fantasy + Q-Tip

2011-01-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,
I have been listening to Q-Tip nonstop for 2 weeks or so. I'm becoming convinced that he has the best voice in the history of rap.

This song is a mash-up of Final Fantasy (Owen Pallet) 's "The CN Tower Belongs to the Dead" and Q-Tips "Work it Out". I'm in love with it.

And if you somehow missed this video, watch it now!

Q-Tip is so cool.

Another Story

2011-01-20T20:27:00.000-08:00

I was just at the grocery store. I found some mangoes at a good price and was waiting in the checkout line. I'm sure that I looked very happy. The anticipation and the excitement of fresh, cool avo-mango mash was on my mind. I'm not exactly sure what it means to beam but I think that I was beaming.

I was carrying all of my stuff in my arms. I always do that because it limits the amount of things that I can buy. Today, though, I was really pushing the limits; rye crackers clenched in my armpits, 3 greek yogurts awkwardly griped in my fist, mangoes, avocados and other produce dangling in bags from my hands.....and more (you get the picture). I was a disaster waiting to happen.

The lady in front of me in the checkout line noticed my awkward bundle and quickly made a space on the conveyor belt thing for me. I swooped my stuff down onto it and, somewhere in the middle of all of that movement, I gave her a smile and word of appreciation. After I had straitened up I noticed that she was holding me in her gaze. She was smiling. At first I thought that she was just acknowledging the thanks that I had given her, but it went on for an uncomfortable amount of time. Finally, she said, "You must be going to school". - Now, keep in mind that this is all happening at 8:30pm - I was blown away by what she said. I spent some time trying to figure out why she would say such a thing but in frustration I gave up and asked, "Why would you say that"? - What about me made this woman think that I was going to school? It surely wasn't my strange assortment of groceries. Was it my age? Was it my glasses? - She didn't really answer my question but I caught her eyes darting down to my chest area. I was wearing a tie (sometimes I do that) and a cardigan. I looked at her really hard. I think that I had that squinting quizzical look on my face. Finally I ventured to carefully ask, "Do all people who wear ties go to school"? She shrugged, grabbed her bags, and left.

It was odd.

Buffer Zone

2011-01-18T21:16:00.000-08:00

Today, I realized that when I enter a classroom and choose a seat I always try to leave at least a one chair buffer zone between me and the next person on the row. This happens without premeditation. It is instinct. As a result I feel separated from my neighbors and melancholy. I don't like it and I'm not sure exactly why I do it. I do the same thing when I decide which urinal to use in the bathroom but that is totally different. The bathroom is not a place of social exchange. It is a place of privacy and sanctuary.

Today I decided to fight this unfriendly and antisocial instinct. I came into class and chose a seat next to a girl named (as I soon found out) Stephanie. She looked at me strangely as I sat down next to her and then carefully proceeded to look around me at the empty chairs filling the rest of the row. I could feel her wondering why I was sitting so close to her when there were so many available chairs farther away. We sat in a strange and thick (soupy) sort of silence for a few moments. I then told her that my name was Ben and that I was looking forward to spending the rest of class in her close company. She took a moment to process what I was telling her and then laughed loudly (very). We quickly became friends.

As I was talking to Stephanie I noticed that people were flowing into the class in groups and dripping into the class in singles. They each chose a seat as far away from human company as possible.

In elementary school boys didn't sit with girls and girls didn't sit with boys. Speaking from a boys perspective, it was because girls were gross and I didn't wish to be contaminated. I'm sure that girls also felt that boys were gross and that they were probably a lot more accurate in that assumption.

I thought about this as I sat in that class and watched people treat each other like diseased zombies who might attack at any moment with decay-spreading virus-infected teeth and claws. The difference is that now, in college, gender is no longer a variable. Everyone avoids everyone.
It's so strange.

I'm glad that I am realizing this. When I got home I listened to LCD Soundsystem's "I Can Change". I can change.

Go make a friend.

Sketch for Summer

2011-01-15T16:38:00.000-08:00

This song really does something for me.

The Durutti Column is a band that is very easy to miss. Don't do yourself that disservice.

Sometime Voices

2011-01-14T11:09:00.000-08:00

This is the Author's Note from the beginning of one of my great uncle Sherwin's books of poetry Sometime Voices -

"In this hectic world, there is too little reason for people to read and even less for them to read out loud. As a result, I have a sometime hunger for hearing the sound of literate human voices reading careful, crafted words.

Television sets and ghetto blasters fill our homes and streets with plastic babble. But aside from occasional bedtime stories for children, the human voice reading intelligent words is rarely heard. This is unfortunate.

Reading aloud involves the intellect as well as the emotions far more intensely than reading silently. Even when done alone, reading aloud is more neighborly, stimulating, and involving. It is almost as if the audible voice becomes an additional interpretive presence that encourages human interchange.

One of the attractions of poetry, more than other forms of literature, is its invitation to the voice and ear to savor consonants, rhythms, and even silences. I believe that Sometime Voices will be better understood and felt if read aloud.

I have a friend who vows upon retirement to "save society" by frequenting bustling downtown corners where he will wear old hats (he says) and read some verse aloud to anyone who cares to listen.

I hope he does."

Sherwin battled melanoma and died in 2001. He was 65.

I have very few memories of Sherwin but the ones that I do have are very important to me. He seemed to know everything that a person could know. I remember going to California with my family to visit him. He was President of Deep Springs College (which is a unique and wonderful institution) and I remember thinking that he must be some kind of intellectual superhero to be president of an entire college.

Reading out loud is more rare now than it was in 1988 when he wrote the above passage. In fact, it is so rare that is sounds alien to me. I began reading his poetry aloud and a strange feeling filled my room. I felt more alone than I had in a long time. I struggled to continue and I am very glad that I did. Eventually the veil of awkwardness lifted and reading aloud became natural and made his poetry feel vibrant and alive.

Since then I have been trying to read many things out loud. It has opened up a new world of sensation to me. It's amazing. Try it.

Citrus Mishap

2011-01-11T21:21:00.000-08:00

Today I took an orange to school. It was a night class and the orange was meant to carry me over until dinner. I found myself hungry more quickly than I had expected and I attempted to peel the orange at all of my various bus stops. Unfortunately my hands were too cold to manage it. I thought about eating it on the bus. Eating on mass transit is forbidden but I can usually eat tidily with good conscience. An orange just seemed like an infraction too blatant and messy for me to stomach. So my stomach remained fussy until I got to class. Once in class I started to peel it. My hands were warm and my stomach ready. My enthusiasm blinded my eyes of everything other than the orange. Once the peeling was complete I took a moment to count how many people were jealous of my treat. There was only one person looking at me; the girl sitting next to me. She had a look of frustration and anger on her face. I looked at her notebook and realized that I had soaked it with orange peel mist and stained it in a fragrant and colorful way. It looked really cool to me but obviously she didn't agree. She did not accept or even acknowledge my million apologies. I even offered her a section of my orange (reluctantly). She made a snooty sound and looked away.

I make so many friends at school.

Freindship Muscles

2011-01-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

At work today I was really friendly and really good. It was exhausting.

I was working on the counter. This means that I interact with customers and their differing attitudes and outlooks for five hours. I decided to try extra hard to be friendly and see how my day went. I made solid eye contact with each customer, smiled, asked them about their day in a sincere and interested manner and tried to strike up conversation with them if I had time. It was fun and I felt good. I also felt tired. It took a lot of energy to be so nice. I think that the muscles that I use to be friendly are out of shape. I don't have the endurance that I should.

As my day went on I felt like I was having an easier and more natural time of it. It's something to work on.

Ghost Clothes

2011-01-06T10:28:00.000-08:00

I just had a really surreal moment. I was looking through some old pictures of campouts and trips and stuff and I found a really good one. I was making a really funny face - the kind that wasn't meant to be funny but is. I was laughing to myself about the funny face when I realized that I was (and still am) wearing the exact same outfit in the picture and out of it. The picture was taken about 5 years ago. I can't believe that I still wear what I wore 5 years ago.

As I was wondering if there was a supernatural explanation for this odd moment, I google stumbled upon some very interesting discussions. A man asked about ghosts and their clothing. Ghosts are usually seen wearing clothes. How can ghosts wear clothes? Does fabric have a soul? Are our physical possessions linked somehow to our souls? I find this whole business to be very intriguing.

Deep Water

2011-01-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

Attention is a precious commodity. You only have so much to give.

Some things, rare and difficult to locate, are extremely worth our attention. All of it.
Sæglópur is one such thing.

I love this song. It is my favorite song by Sigur Rós and that is a very powerful compliment.
I had never seen the video before today. It's great. The scene where the girl pulls the boy out of the water is one of the most beautifully filmed moments I have ever seen.

I have always had a fear of deep water. If I can see what is below me I am not frightened. It is when my feet are treading, kicking, and thrashing in a void of darkness below me that I feel uneasy. All of the movement and exertion that is required to keep my head above water is also summoning the unseen terrors that live in the darkest and coldest areas on earth. Anything could be down there. Size and power are not restricted. Deep water can feasibly house my most unreasonable and terrifying nightmares. Nightmares that I have had and have forced out of my surface memory - the secret denizens of my subconscious - live there.

I have heard that we know less about the deep waters of Earth than we do about the other planets of our solar system.

Unoriginal Thought

2010-12-28T17:27:00.001-08:00

I just came home from the craft store. Something there really surprised me. Many of the items for sale seemed to be creativity inhibitors rather than the pathways to creative expression that I expected to see. This wasn't my first time in a craft store but it was the first time that I realized that I was surrounded by the shallow and empty shells of unoriginal thought.

So many items in the craft store are sold with elaborate instructions that lead us to a predetermined end result. This process is no different than combining the components of a "some assembly required" item from a regular store. The final product is the creative child of another mind.

I'm not opposed to the idea of doing something that has already been done before. I work in a bakery and we make bread the same way every single day. There is a time and a place to do what is tried and proven. I also realize that (even [maybe especially] in the creative arts) a skeletal structure of proper theory and technique is needed in order to reach true expression. Creativity is not anarchy.

I guess that my complaint (if it is one) is that this craft store was selling a large number of products that did not lead to the use of creativity nor did they teach principles that would lead to the ability to do so.

There you go.

a good time

2010-12-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

painting louvre doors and eating triscuts.

my ghosts of christmas present

2010-12-18T11:24:00.000-08:00

For some reason I have been reading the collected ghost stories of M.R. James.

Yes, I know that it is the Christmas season. I haven't forgotten or overlooked that. In fact, I feel more excited about the holidays than I normally am. I haven't been neglecting the spirit of Christmas and I have been carrying out all of my traditions and even founding some new ones. The excitement and majesty of the season fills my soul. I am, however and paradoxically, also feeling a fascination for the supernatural and scary.

M.R. James wrote ghost stories and he did so long before the advent of Hollywood style terror. Many of his stories are centered around the strange powers held in ancient texts and architecture. They are short, unsettling and inconclusive. He exposes his readers to a short series of bizarre events and then never really explains why they occurred. He gives enough hints to make the reader imagine a more complex and frightening back story than he could possibly create himself. I especially enjoyed "Cannon Alberic's Scrap-book" and "The Mezzotint".

Along those same lines -
"Daniel" by Bat for Lashes. I have always loved this song. It is atmospheric, eerie and danceable. It makes me feel like I am walking through a misty forest in the half-light. I recently watched the video for the first time and was terrified and intrigued by the black dancing balloon-animal people. They are really cool and weird. Also, I think that Natasha Khan is really pretty.

As an interesting side note; I guess that Daniel is the kid from Karate Kid. And.....wait for it..... you can change the color of the playback bar of youtube videos. Yes! I chose red.

take me over

2010-12-17T11:51:00.000-08:00

Do you like to be happy? Do you like to dance? Do you like to laugh at yourself because you can't remember the last time you had so much fun?? Do you like Fleetwood Mac?
Cut Copy.

This song is from their new album "Zonoscope" which is due to arrive this February. It can't come fast enough.

Don't overlook the album art. I love it.

The Giving Tree

2010-12-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

Spike Jonze just made a short film called "I'm Here". A great friend told me about it and I have watched it several times and absolutely love it. Spike Jonze has a way of making situations and gestures communicate more than words could. In his films a facial expression, movement of the hand, silent glance, etc. can mean more than an long and complicated conversation. Very few directors or artists are able to this so well.

I don't know how proficient I am at non-verbal communication. The more I think about it the more I think that I am terrible at it. It's a skill that I wish I had but that I don't know how to go about developing.

I recommend "I'm Here" to anyone and everyone. It is a love story about two robots and it is all about how love is the giving of one's self to another person. In the film this happens quite literally. It is both heartbreaking and hearthealing.

It reminds me of the Shel Silverstein classic "The Giving Tree". This has always been one of my favorite picture books. The Giving Tree gives of herself until she is reduced to nothing but a stump. Her love for the boy that she watched grow into a man is much stronger than any sense of loss or feeling of self-pity that she could have had.

In my mind, her great sacrifice seems to be undervalued by the boy. He loved her as a boy but as he grows he starts to love other things more than her. Her love was put to the test by his constant absence. He only came to see her when he needed something. Time and time again he showed up and took something from her that she gladly gave. True love is giving without expecting or even wanting anything in return. The happiness of the boy she loved was the Giving Tree's only concern and it meant more to her than her fruit,branches, or trunk. It meant more to her than her self.

In "I'm Here" Sheldon valued the one he loved more than his physical person. There is one scene in particular that is extremely powerful to me. Sheldon is offering to make a large sacrifice to help his girlfriend and she does not want to accept his help. He gives the simple details of a dream that he had and shows her that his happiness depends on her acceptance of his offering. I can't really express why it is so potent and incredible. It just is.

Watch "I'm Here". You won't regret it.

This is the official website but it is soooo slow that I can't watch it there. You can also find it on youtube.

http://www.imheremovie.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfVgc-U_ZMc

tied for first

2010-12-08T22:24:00.000-08:00

I have been browsing google image pictures of foxes for over an hour. I know that I should be doing other things but I really don't want to. This seems like the most important thing right now. The only problem is that about 75% of the pictures on google image searches for "fox" are gross pictures of gross Megan Fox. It helps to type 'fox animal'.

I really love foxes. If I were an animal I would be a fox. They have the perfect balance of soft beauty and toughness. Their spirit shines. They adapt to the seasons, changing their coats with the ease of my changing a shirt. They have grace and they fill me with wonder.

Foxes and giraffes are tied for first as my favorite animal.

oh, yeah, and Fantastic Mr. Fox is my favorite movie of all time.

Hilli (at the top of the world)

2010-12-06T13:30:00.000-08:00

Icelandic quartet Amiina borrowed the amazing vocal talents of Lee Hazlewood for this song. He died three weeks later. It was the last recording that he ever did. I can't think of a better parting gift that he could have left the world.

At the top of the world there's an island
A place where the sun never shines
But the people don't care because the snow over there
Is so bright, they nearly go blind

They live at the foot of a mountain
Where the flowers last hardly a day
But they live off the land and lend each other a hand
On this island where night is their day

They'd punish me if I dare tell you
And if I ask them, they'd say they don't know
But what keeps them healthy even though they are not wealthy
On this magical island, is snow

The flakes as they fall look like candy
And the children rush out when it snows, for a treat
When they open their mouths and gulp down the flakes
Because nothing on earth tastes so sweet

But then one dark day, smoke blew in their way
And the temperatures got higher
On the horizon they saw fire and the waters did rise
And the snow started melting away

And the people weren't tearful, nor fearful or scared
Because the secret was out there
At last, the secret was shared

They watched as the ice turned to water
And streamed down into the sea
And lit up the ocean and crept in slow-motion
Through the world they never did see

And people in lands around the planet were in shock
As the light came to shore and lit up the beaches
And even their teachers couldn't say what the bright light was for

It flowed upstream through the mountains
Burst out through their fountains
Breaking all life's natural laws
Till they lit up the planet and all who lived on it
Were touched by this magical force

And they looked all around at the sky and at the ground
And they realized what they had been seeing then
As they started to cry their tears filled the sky
And the black storm clouds gathered above

And then the heavens opened
And the rains came to show them
That their world needs a little more love

At the top of the world there's an island
A place where the sun never shines
But the people don't care because the snow over there
Is so bright, the sun's in their mind

Palace of Dreams

2010-12-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

Ikea. I recently went there for the first time and I love it. It is a palace of dreams.

Go Live Already!!

2010-12-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

I can't describe the way that I am feeling right now. I ordered the live DVD/CD of Jónsi's amazing concert "Go Live". It is one of the greatest works of art that I have encountered in my life. I have been watching it, re-watching it, listening to it with my eyes closed, remembering it, feeling it, ...

His concert was (and is still) powerful, magnificent, chilling, warming, touching, moving and alive. I saw him play live twice and on each occasion I found myself overwhelmed with emotions of every possible flavor. It felt like my soul was a dusty and lonely amphitheater that had been suddenly and unexpectedly filled with a colorful and lively crowd. The crowd coursed and flowed through the neglected structure like blood through veins, restoring its sparkle and giving it a newness of life.

Jónsi is a person who bares the very core his being to the world. People like this are rare and beautiful. It is a risky thing to do. When a person gives other people access to their soul they become vulnerable to attack and rejection. But they also open up the possibility of pure and unfiltered emotional and spiritual expression and connection to others.

I think that the soul is the essence of a person. Souls can mingle. They can dance.

Lake Faces

2010-11-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't used Photoshop in years. All that I really wanted to do here was relearn layers and transparencies. It seemed like a nice way to pass a snowy Sunday afternoon. I took pieces from some photos I took in Africa and I ended up with this.

I uploaded this in a very large size. Click on it to see a more detailed image.

Giving Thanks

2010-11-25T10:25:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for so so many things today and everyday. Our lives are filled with beauty if we choose to seek it and to see it.

I am thankful for beauty. I think that all of my gratitude can be wrapped up in that single sentence. Beauty has so many different ways of manifesting itself. There is beauty in thought, expression and emotion. There is beauty in things constant and things changing. Beauty shines within and throughout our interactions and relationships with others (no matter how clumsy those relationships may be).

Lately I have realized that there are many things that are distracting me from fully participating in the beauty of life. I am thankful for this realization because it has allowed me to break free from some of these snares.

I think that true beauty has the power to bring about our true selves. When we seek it out and absorb it into ourselves we end up finding out who we are and why we are.

This man's music is absolutely beautiful. His band is called "Message to Bears" and it is ambient, instrumental and captivating. A lot of ambient music is very underwhelming and difficult to listen to but this is not. It is really special and I wish that more people knew about it.
Thank you Jerome Alexander.

Listen Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvJt0M3Qwz4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwNWeirvp40
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7MjPTVK_AI

Download Here:
http://messagetobears.bandcamp.com/

Forever & Ever, Amen

2010-11-23T22:49:00.000-08:00

Wow, I really can't get enough of this song lately. I find it intensely satisfying to sing along to this at an inappropriately high volume.

Witching Hour

2010-11-23T22:21:00.000-08:00

The "Blizzard of 2010" was supposed to be wild. I was hearing rumors of 70mph winds and 18 inches of snow in the valley. The news reports recommended that I stay indoors. I chose not to comply.
This so-called blizzard turned out to be nothing more than a mild snowstorm. Everyone else seemed to have listened carefully to the warnings of danger because there wasn't another soul to be found on the streets. I felt like I had been inserted into a post-apocalyptic world. The snow was falling lightly like sticky clusters of ash. The earth and sky were both the same color of whitish grey and blended together so well that I couldn't find the horizon line. I was the only thing that seemed to not belong in this world of the dead. My bright red coat was an insult to the somber and uniform feeling put off by my surroundings. As I walked my footprints faded behind me underneath new-fallen snow. I felt as if my link back to the world of the living was slowly being severed.

Flying Pictures

2010-11-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

I have good memories of the ad section in National Geographic. It was visually interesting to me as a child. The ads depicted larger-than-life people and a world to which I was a total stranger. I have a vivid memory of an attractive motherly figure with bright red lips holding up a finger in warning. I forget what the warning was. Perhaps I was being warned to never forget to buy the product being advertised. I forgot. But I will never forget that picture.

Newer issues of National Geo have totally lost and forgotten this magical space. The new ad section is larger and filled with ads about car insurance, cholesterol medicine, "rare" gold coins offered only for a "limited time" (haha), etc. National Geo realizes that everyone hates it so they are forced to insert interesting mini articles and pictures in between the ads so that people won't skip the section entirely. I usually choose to skip it anyways.

This month was different. I looked through it. I am very glad that I did because I came across something really wonderful.

This photographer can fly. After framing his picture he jumps and he flies for 1/125 of a second. His camera preserves the memory of this beautiful fraction of a second forever. These moments actually happened. They are captured with analog technology and unaltered with digital technology. Much effort went into the planning and preparation of each of these photographs and much pain and injury were the results of his inevitable descent after each shot (each picture took many, many attempts). All of this for 1/125 of a second. Daniel Gordon can very briefly accomplish the impossible.

I think that some of the best things in life are like this micromoment. So much sweat and so many tears go into making them happen. So much suffering is felt when there are no longer a part of our reality. But, in the end, you were in that perfect and beautiful moment and that's what matters. You. were. there.

http://danielgordonstudio.com/projects/flying-pictures

Leaves of Trees

2010-11-17T19:19:00.000-08:00

Night and darkness have been coming more quickly. I have decided that I need to pack more life into the limited amount of daylight that I am allotted.

Today I constructed a giant pile of leaves. My pile was perfect for jumping, burrowing, tunneling, hiding and pretending. Laying on my back, covered with a thin veil of leaves, I began to imagine myself inside the burning sun. The daylight was pushing the reds, yellows, browns and oranges of the leaves through my closed eyelids. I couldn't make out their shapes but I could sense their individuality and essence. I could smell them. As I quickly threw myself into a sitting position and opened my eyes I found myself surrounded and by a beautiful torrent of amber and bronze.

Music of the Day!
Iron & Wine - Southern Anthem
Bob Dylan - Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You

Janelle Monáe

2010-11-15T16:03:00.000-08:00

I would like to showcase a musician that I believe is highly underrated - Janelle Monáe. This female R&B/Soul/Slow Jam artist is really something special.

Her new album "The ArchAndroid" is one of my favorite albums of the year. Many albums contain a story or at least have a particular flavor, but this album goes beyond that. It is a feature film projecting its image onto the screen of your imagination. Janelle has even described it as being an "emotion picture". It is best experienced all at once and preferably with your eyes closed as you relax on your carpet.

She molds and shapes music that breaks the barriers of genre and conventional songwriting. Her music manages to be modern and fresh while allowing me to reconnect and commune with legendary artists of the past like Anita Baker, Dionne Warwick and Aretha Franklin. She borrows some dance steps from the legendary James Brown and mixes them with her own moves. I think that Michael Jackson would have loved her.

She received formal training in acting at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York and intended to work Broadway before changing her direction towards music production. She is a dancer, an actor, a singer, a songwriter and a very classy woman.

Janelle is a beautiful and modest person. She is usually dressed in classic uniforms and suits that cover her body. I love that she doesn't rely on her body to promote or sell her music. She has grace and respect for herself and those around her. Janelle Monáe is a hero of mine.

Check out her out.

Many Moons - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZyyORSHbaE&feature=channel
Tightrope - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwnefUaKCbc&feature=channel
Cold War - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqmORiHNtN4&feature=channel

Buy her music.

Gardyn

2010-11-13T17:04:00.000-08:00

In the book Xenocide, Ender Wiggin was able to create physical manifestations of the memories of his brother and sister with his mind. He carried such a strong image of these people with him that he was able to project these images and share his own life-force with them.

I have been thinking about this idea and at first it seemed very ridiculous to me. As I continued to consider it my way of thinking changed. I realized that, in a less impressive (yet more meaningful) way, we are able to give life to the memories of the people who have deeply affected us. We can give life and honor to the memories we hold inside us but we need to find an outlet or method of expression to do it.

When we allow our memories influence our actions or comportment we are effectively giving them form and life.

We are creators. He who created us also endowed us with the potential to create. There are many ways to create; music, art, writing, raising a child, etc. We can take a small part of our feelings and memories for the people we have known and put them into (or share them with - in the case of a child) our creations.

I think that this serves as a good example of what I am trying to say:
This song/video was a gift that this young man (POGO) gave to his mother on Mother's Day. He took sounds from her garden and harmonic syllables of her voice and combined them to form an image of her. After watching this I felt as if I partially understood his love for her and the portion of her soul that his art reveals to me.

If you like this the song it is a free download here.
http://www.pogomix.net/the-story-behind-gardyn/

Be Not Ashamed

2010-11-12T11:02:00.001-08:00

Today has been a beautiful day. I woke up, did yoga, sang/danced to Jonsi and I was late for my bus.

At first I was annoyed about missing my bus and worried about being late for class but as I transferred onto my second bus my bad attitude was quickly forgotten. There was a man on the bus who was talking to everyone. I wanted to read my book so I found my way to the back of the bus to avoid being distracted by his conversation. I tried to read but I found what the man
was saying to be of infinitely more worth than what I was reading.

He was speaking about Jesus Christ. What he was saying was disorganized and even slightly inaccurate but his words were laden with true power. He was preaching the love of Jesus Christ for all mankind and the power that God's Word has to improve our lives.

I found myself taking notes. Here are a couple things I wrote down:
"We need to stand up for the Lord and be not ashamed of him. Talk about him. Talk about him to everyone you see. Much of the goodness in the world has left because people aren't talking about Jesus. People aren't talking about Jesus enough. Tell people what he has done in your life. I might never see you again but we now share a bond in the Lord. It don't cost anything to talk about him."

"People might believe that you are crazy or insane but that don't carry no weight. If you show people what you really feel in your heart then you have nothing to be ashamed of. Those people who don't think you are crazy might take something from what you say and in either case the Lord will smile on your efforts and bless you for them".

I felt true belief coming out of this man. I felt his passion and I was deeply impressed by his lack of fear or embarrassment. I found myself getting off the bus with a burning heart and tears in my eyes. I took a moment to look at the faces of the people around him. We were all strangers yet we were all united through our smiles and wonder for this beautiful and slightly eccentric man.

The Gift of Fire

2010-11-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about government and politics and my duties as a citizen of a nation.
Richard Mitchell is incredible. This passage in his book "The Gift of Fire" really stood out to me and got me thinking.

Aristotle held, and Plato too, and many others,
that the highest and most important study to which
we could devote ourselves is the thoughtful
consideration of politics. An extraordinarily
dreary prospect for most of us, who suppose that it
is Politics that we see in action in election
campaigns, and in all the unseemly scramble for
office and power. But that is not at all what
ancient thinkers meant by the word. For them,
Politics, this time with the capital, was the study
of “polity,” the consideration of questions about
the art and nature of virtuous governing, and the
inquiry into the possibility of a just state. It was
not really about what we call the government,
except insofar as this or that government might
serve as an example, but about governing, and it
was not confined to considerations of the state and
its workings, but gave itself also to considering
the just governing of anything or anyone. It was
thus yet another way of self-knowledge, for the
self is, just as much as the state, a place, and even
a community, and it may, just like the state, be
governed well or ill.

It is hard to capture any one of his thoughts without copying entire chapters of his books because his ideas are so sprawling. I recommend "The Gift of Fire" to anyone who can read and can find a copy.

Waiting

2010-11-10T18:22:00.000-08:00

"Sans toi, les émotions d'aujourd'hui ne seraient que la peau morte des émotions d'autrefois." (Without you, today's emotions would be but the dead skin of past emotions) - Hipolito

When I can say this to someone I will know that I am truly in love.

Math

2010-11-07T21:17:00.000-08:00

It's crazy how I judge a person's present actions without remembering how complex their lives are and without realizing that I don't understand their situation at all. I hate that about myself and I have started trying to remember that I can't see the whole equation of their life. If I can't see the entire equation then what gives me the right to complain about the answer?